THE GREASE PIT QUESTIONS JOHN LEGUIZAMO LOOKALIKE JOHN COLE









WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?:
A person with so much potential, it scares the hell out of each member of Jesus Chrysler


JESUS CHRYSLER. SONGS TO MAKE LOVE TO OR SONGS TO MAKE LOVE TO YOURSELF TO?:
I have hurt myself too much making love to myself so I would say songs to make love to.


HOW MUCH DID YOU GET PAID FOR YOUR ROLE IN THE "I KNOW JESUS VIDEO"?:
Nothing. Oh wait Bakko did buy me a bottle of Bud.


OK. YOU'VE SPENT THE NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN WITH YOUR BUDDIES. YOU GET HOME AROUND 1:30 am AND LETS SAY THERE'S A GROUP OF 5 OF YOU ALL HANGING AROUND. DRINKING MORE BEER. WATCHING A MOVIE. AND YOU GET HUNGRY. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO DO:

a)Ask if anyone wants to go to Taco Bell. And when no one wants to go, you still go by yourself because you are hungry.

b)Order a couple of Pizza's. Pay for them out of your own pocket and share them with others.

c)Ask everyone to go in on some Pizza's. Call the Pizza place. Make the order and when it shows up, quietly slip $2 in the Pizza fund knowing that your share is $6 without a tip and thus requiring someone else to pick up the extra cost that you are not representing. All the while knowing that no Pizzas would have even been ordered had you not convinced everyone that they should.
A

INTERJECTION: IF you were to ask anyone who's ordered a Pizza with John they'd say C.



YOU HAVE IN FRONT OF YOU A CHEESE PIZZA. YOU MUST ADD TWO OF THE FOLLOWING TOPPINGS. YOU MUST PICK TWO! OLIVES, MUSHROOMS, ONIONS GARLIC, HAMBURGER, SAUSAGE, CANADIAN BACON (That's for you Treb), ANCHIOVES, MAYONAISE, PICKLES, PINEAPPLE, or HAM.
Sausage and Canadian Bacon


THERE ARE 100 ORPHANS TRAPPED ON A BUS THAT IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF A CLIFF. THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN BE SAVED IS BY YOU EATING ONCE A DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE THE FOLLOWING. FOR LUNCH - 1 WHOPPER SERVED THE WAY IT COMES. NO SUBSTITUTIONS. FOR DINNER - A MEAT AND VEGGIES COMBO FROM CHECKERBOARD PIZZA. DO YOU LET THEM DIE OR CHANGE YOUR DIET?:
I know I can be and asshole but I would have to save the orphans.


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MACARONI GRILL? PRETTY NICE PLACE TO EAT FOR QUALITY ITALIAN FOOD DON"T YOU THINK?
Their quality of food and standards of service don't come close to that of OLIVE GARDEN But not a horrible place to eat.


HAVE YOU EVER WIPED YOUR ASS AND GOT SO MUCH SHIT ON YOUR HANDS THAT YOU WASHED THEM BEFORE PULLING UP YOUR PANTS?:
No. I use toilet paper. Have gotten in the shower immediatley though.


IF YOU WASH YOUR HANDS RIGHT BEFORE TAKING A PISS, ARE YOU REQUIRED TO WASH THEM AGAIN WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED?
Hell No!


LET'S SAY YOU'RE BAKKO'S ROADIE. HOW MANY DAYS ON TOUR UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER RESIST THE URGE TO CHOKE HIM?:
45 minutes into the second day.



WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU USED THE PHRASE "BITCH PLEASE"?:
Last night when Hechtl kept telling me he was tired.


HAVE YOU EVER GONE TO BURGER KING AND ORDERED TWO HAMBURGERS AND ASKED THEM TO PUT BOTH PATTIES ON ONE BUN?:
No.


OUT OF 100 WORDS SPOKEN BY SHAGGZ. HOW MANY ON AVERAGE DO YOU UNDERSTAND?:
1/10


TREBLE'S CANADIAN. DOES THAT MAKE YOU MAD?:
No. Corey Koskie's also Canadian. Does that make you mad?


HOW MANY MEMBERS OF CHRYSLER HAVE YOU SEEN NAKED?:
None thank god.


HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THE "I KNOW JESUS" VIDEO?
I woke up and became an instant star.


HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE VICTIM OF ONE OF YOUR ROOMMATES (Hechtl) GOING TOO FAR WHEN IT COMES TO AGGRESSIVE SEX?
Yes. Hechtl usually doesn't let me even get mey socks off.


YOU'VE BEEN THE SIXPACK RECORDS "MODEL" OR ABOUT 2 MONTH'S NOW. HOW'S THAT GOING?
Great! I love traveling all over the world and sharing hotel rooms with Shaggz.


YOU HAVE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO THE ACTOR JOHN LEGUIZAMO. HOW CAN WE BE SURE THAT YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY HIM?
I don't speak Latino.


WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

TASTED A GIRLS PEE:  2 Weeks
DROVE DRUNK:  2 Months
SMOKED POT:  2 Years
RENTED A MOVIE:  4 Years
WATHCED A PORNO:  1 Hour
SMOKED A CIGARETTE:  12 Hours
HAD ANAL SEX:  Never
PUKED DURING SEX:  Never
MASTURBATED WHILE THINKING ABOUT CHRISTINA AGUILERA:  2 Weeks
HAD A GIRL PLAY WITH HER TITS WHILE YOU SAT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND JACKED OFF:  1 Year
MADE A WOMAN CRY:   3 Weeks

ADMIT IT. WHEN YOU SAW THAT SCENE WITH THE APPLE PIE IN AMERICAN PIE, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA:
I would do it. If I knew how to make an apple pie.


HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FINGER IN YOUR ASS THAT WASN'T YOURS?:
Burge's is permanently in there coz' I cut it off last time he got frunk and tried to be funny!